22: drug dealers

As you're probably aware, drugs are a part of the scene. This means at some point you're going to have to interact with this special breed of person. You may just have that mate who knows everyone and grabs just enough for them and their buddies and that's the safest way of buying drugs; get someone else to do it! I have known a lot over the years and have indulged in it myself, selling Es, whizz, draw and acid tabs. Risk V reward seemed worth it back then, although I wouldn't dream of doing it now. Here are a few tales from the various dealers.... unnamed, obvs...

A dealer in Atherstone, north Warks, had the drug squad camped outside his flat watching his nefarious behaviour and logging all that came and went. This guy gave zero fucks, even taking them bacon sandwiches and cups of tea. One night while feeling mischievous he phoned the police and told them there was a car parked outside of his flat and one of the men in it had a shotgun on his lap. Within 20 minutes the drugs squads car was surrounded by the armed response team. What a guy.

A few of us was struggling to get some LSD so we took a drive over to the Eclipse, Coventry to buy some in the car park outside. We all gave our money to one of lads and he went off to score from some lads about 30 feet away from the  area we were sat in. The lad goes up and has a brief chat, and an exchange takes place before starts to walk back to us examining the contents of the baggie with the trips inside. He then looks at us angrily and turns back to guys he just bought the tabs from, has a bit of a row before one of the dealers wanders off and comes back with a new baggie. When my mate gets back to the car he said "I asked for 10 and the wankers tried giving me 9! You have to get up early in the morning to catch me out!" As we drove back home. He got the baggie out and realised that he had just bought 10 pieces of ripped beer mat. Twat.

More to come soon.....

21: Hiatus

Well its been a while since I last updated this blog of mine. Thanks to all that have enjoyed it, I will try to post new stuff as often as I can.

I am 45 now and went to my last proper rave last year. Amnesia house 30 years anniversary at the Empire, Coventry.  I'm too old for this malarkey now, it was too full, too loud and nowhere to sit.... fucking hell, did I say that?I AM old. Apart from those few niggles the music was outstanding. Frankie Bones played a beautifully crafted set and conversely Grooverider had tech issues and the p.a kept cutting out. He looked as happy as he usually does...

I honestly didn't enjoy it. You cant reclaim your youth by dancing all night and snorting an ungodly amount of wanker dust (cocaine) or necking a Gary (Ecstasy) or two AND retain your dignity at the same time.

I will always love the music and the memories, but that's me done with going out and getting off my noodle now; I'm about to become a grandad for goodness sake! I have 3 adult daughters and have passed the baton onto them.

Thanks again folks, I will be trying to update regularly with new tales of stupidity....

Like the time I offered a policeman a spliff when I was off my tits on a quite strong Gary.....

20: My Radio Shows

I have a fortnightly radio show on Friday nights, 6:30 - 8pm on Future Drumz Radio playing Old skool, Jungle, J-Tek,  Hardcore, House, Happy Hardcore and assorted styles of Breaks. Here are some links to download my shows, or better still have a listen live and join the chat room for shouts out to you and your mates or request tunes.

http://www.mediafire.com/download/1hhb399u6ub9u16/euphoria161015.flac

http://www.mediafire.com/listen/a2ngts489bvn08a/euphoria301015.wav

http://www.mediafire.com/listen/ils41q7s3sgtv26/euphoria13112015.wav

19: MC's.....

A contentious issue right here, are MC's an integral part of the scene or just plain annoying?


NOT REALLY AN MC, BUT DJ DEREK ROCKIN' THE MIC

The MC debate has been going on for as long as i have been raving. Some people love them, some people hate them but you cannot escape the ubiquitous mic wielders at most raves. Way back when, the job of the MC was to hype the crowd; to compliment the dj whilst being the front and centre view for the ravers as the dj's generally were a bit dull to watch. Standing proud at the front of the stage, getting people to blow whistles or cheers as a dj drops the tune or as a break down kicks in. Somewhere along this journey the MC has been evolving and changing style and direction, and this is where the split in opinion really shows. The MC used to be about helping the DJ, but now a lot of MC's are only interested in spitting their lyrics and making a name for themselves rather than complimenting the music. D&B is the worst offender for this, and sometimes when i see a flyer i am gobsmacked at the amount of MC's on the line up. 2 MC's per DJ is retarded. Why do some promotors think that is a good idea? D&B MC's are notorious for constant chatter at speeds hitherto unknown outside of the world of the hummingbird, all unintelligible to the average human (ba-buddah-ba-buddah ba-buddah ba) and relentless; circular breathing techniques must be all the rage for the modern mic abuser. As this is an old skool blog, i will stick to what i know, as i have little interest in the D&B scene.

I loved a few MC's, the ones that knew when to be quiet and when to go and get the crowd hyped up. Man Parris falls into this catagory along with Top Buzz's Mad P, easily my favourite MC's but there are a lot of notable others like Cool N deadly, Conrad, Ribbz, Robbie Dee (coming back to him shortly) and others. Cool N Deadly was on the first tape i ever had, grooverider from Amnesia House, 1990 and i loved that tape, his style was laid back and as his name suggests, very cool. If you listen back to any Top Buzz tapes from 1991, Mad P sounds like his voice was due to break compared to a couple of years later. I learned a few new words when i was a youth thanks to Patrick, from lines such as "..and it happens to detrimental" which was one of my favourites. Having no clue what detrimental meant encouraged me to use a dictionary (something only nerds did, in my opinion at the time) Conradr was LTJ Bukems MC, his style really complimented LTJ's progressive style at the time and this is the only compliment LTJ will ever get from me, as i found his music dull and for the chin strokers only. Robbie Dee was mental. Absolute nuttiness which went perfectly with Rattys frenetic style of chopping up beats and scratching. Some of the stuff he came out with was of questionable integrity "i don't think we're getting paid tonight so i'm sending a bucket round in ten minutes" and "if someone has a pound can they go to reception please and claim it" had me laughing like a drain. There was a lot of terrible MC's as well. A serial offender was Loud and Nasty, A.K.A Neville from Amnesia House. As he lives fairly near to me this is all i am going to say about him. I remember going to a rave at fantasy island, Ingoldmells, just outside Skegness and there was an MC called MC motivator, dressed in a leotard, complete with bum bag and moustache. I was off my noodle and genuinely thought i had either lost my mind or the real Mr Motivator had turned his hand to rhyming over happy hardcore now. There used to be an MC at the Eclipse on members night with glasses with little lights on the side that would wander around the dance floor with radio mic in hand, walking up to people and shouting "dance you bastard!" in their faces. Not the best MC ever, in fact i would go so far as to say a total and utter bell end. And that's the thing, an MC is only as good as people tell them they are. I have an MC i use when appropriate and he knows when to let rip and when to STFU, and this is the mark of a decent MC, along with decent lyrics, obviously.

18: Clubs: The Eclipse, Coventry

25 Years ago a club opened in Coventry that would change they way many people spent their weekends. No more suits, fights on the dance floor or drunken idiots, because first of all, the club had no alcohol license. Two men, Stuart Reid and Barry Edwards had taken over the old Ganada bingo hall on Lower Ford Street and in October 1990 and transformed Coventry overnight from football violence alcohol fueled cock jockeys every where to a hedonistic utopia. OK, that's an exaggeration but it certainly changed my life forever.




The Eclipse was spread over 4 floors, although the ground floor didn't open immediately, the staff used that room to beat up people sneaking drugs or weapons in. The 1st floor was the chill out room and restaurant, and i use that term loosely; chips and burgers mostly, but also dj's played in there as well. 2nd floor was the main dance floor with bar, stage and dance platforms and the 3rd floor was the balcony overlooking the dance floor. The dj was on this level along with access to it barred by steel gates. The decor was.... shall we just say untouched? There was UV stickers, back drops and shapes hanging from the ceiling but that was the only thing that had changed since it's previous bingo hall days. They had a wicked laser with netting hanging from the ceiling to catch the mad visuals it provided and was supplied by laser magic. (a banner draped over the dj box confirmed this, people zoned out on it many times) and there was a stairwell connecting the floors with a lift in there. The stairs were always full of people sitting down and was a struggle to get from one floor to another. It was a bit dirty in there, you wouldn't want to sit down on the floor as in those days you could still smoke inside. It wasn't massive either, at 1600 capacity over 4 floors it was an average size but there was more than that in there on the events nights. Friday was events/promotors and saturday was members only and i always preferred Saturday as it was less full and you had room to dance. Whistles, airhorns, poppers, and sly spliffs were all the rage, i vividly remember the smell of poppers in there, mixed with Vics vaporub (see post 17) and sweat. The vibe in there was overtly freindly, to the point of over familiar sometimes. Where ya from? What ya had? Want some poppers? Fancy my sister? were the conversation starters in there, but it made a refreshing change from the clubs where if you asked a stranger what he was drinking you would find out up close by the glass being shoved into your face with high velocity. Pulling a girl was hard, the music was suitably loud and as you and everyone else was dripping in sweat, nobody looked that amazing; especially when the lights came on 10 minutes before the end. You could be having some nervous flirty eye contact with the worlds most beautiful person one minute, then a simon weston look-a-like seconds after the lights come on.  I remember seeing a man in his 30's in there and was very suspicious of his motives for being there. This was a young persons thing, piss off grandad. The chances are that this fella was probably plod, trying to look cool and blend in yet failing spectacularly. Old bill didn't like the club very much, at the time maggie thatcher was fighting a war on ravers and papers like the Sun and their ilk took great pleasure in scaring parents all over the country with shock headlines. The owners had found a legal loophole to open the club. No license was needed other than an entertainment license as it was strictly a members only venue. You had to apply for membership 24 hours before attending, although in reality you could join, buy a ticket from over the road at moonshine records and walk straight in. As with any club like this, the moody element started to come and i saw some shitty things happen there (read earlier posts) and after a while a face lift was needed. BEHOLD, THE EDGE!

The Edge was a different beast. this time some money had been spent on the interior. Ground floor was chill out room with cinema screen showing films, sofas, chairs and tables etc and generally a groovy place to relax. The layout of the rest of the club remained the same but it had had a paint job done. I have been very vocal on the colour of this since it was painted..... battle ship grey. To me, it made the place seem gloomy and unwelcoming. The was also two dance platforms built in this time, rather than the temporary ones they had previously. The whole atmosphere had changed in there, it never had the same vibe to it, im my opnion but it didn't stop me going (and eventually djing there...see previous posts) They started making a video magazine and launched a record label and there was some brilliant nights there, but the writing was on the wall, the bad vibe that the locals brought along was ruining it, the doormen were excessive in the beatings they dished out (seen quite a few myself) and the lack of alcohol being served (a good thing if you ask me) was holding it back, as now there were clubs everywhere doing all nighters. the halcyon days had come to end and the Edge eventually closed in 1994, barely 3 1/2 years after first opening its door in '90. Coventry university took it over, renamed it The Planet and closed it to non students, and it was eventually demolished a few years back. A car park is now on the site. For all its failings, it was the best club in the midlands, hands down and 25 years later i still miss the place. December 12th 2015 will see the 25th anniversary rave held in The Empire club, recently opened less than 1/4 of a mile from the original venue.

17: Oddballs

We've all seen them, people at raves so far off their nut that they have no idea what they are doing. There's the legendary story of MC Man Parris at Amnesia house spotting a guy trying to rock out with his cock out, bless him. I often wonder what happened there; did he flop the old lad out on purpose or wandered back from the bogs forgetting to tuck it back in? Maybe he had a big winkle and wanted to pull but just didn't have the vocal dexterity to structure a sentence due to the 3 double doves he ingested an hour previously. Either way that lads night ended early and no doubt with a punch in the gob as well.
I have seen a girl whip out a tampon at Aston Villa leisure centre so she get fucked behind the speakers, and sling it off into the background, that was an image i found hard to shake and even harder to masturbate to.  I managed to pull it off though.....

The depths some people would go to when off their heads never fails to baffle me, like wearing Hi-Viz waistcoats, sucking a childs dummy, wearing white gloves or the most reprehensible of all, asking random strangers if they want a decongestant rub massaging into their sweaty torso or worse, genitals. These popped up in late 93 and was soon adopted by the happy hardcore scene more than by the junglists. Why come to a rave with a Hi-Viz jacket? Because it glows in the dark under UV lights. So does cat piss but i wouldn't cover myself with that either. Rubbing Vics vaporub into your face was never a great idea, your eyes would stream water in a vain attempt to repel the vile smelling menthol fumes from your field of vision; another retarded idea i never indulged in. At UK hardcore raves nowadays some girls look like cyberpunks, head to toe in UV clobber, looking like economy hookers from Blade runner. Call me old fashioned if you like, but the sight of a girl wearing a harlequin catsuit used to (and still does to a degree) make my privates tingle.  I remember Top buzz MC, Mad P saying "who's that wanker in the Arsenal T-shirt? sort your fucking life out mate" I always hated seeing lads at raves in football shirts. Do they think that by wearing an Aston Villa away kit, girls would be flocking to them? Seriously deluded fools if so. Actually, while i mention AVFC i remember a funny thing some lad i know done back in 1991. Every saturday afternoon him and his mates would fall out of the local pub and go to the phonebox over the road and phone the Sunday Sport with stupid bull shit tales and one week they were successful. He told them a Yeti in an AVFC away kit approached him on the village gren and stole his trainers. Front page news, that one.

Double dropping; The practice of taking 2 E's at the same time. How could that be a bad idea? Depends on your point of view i suppose but i always thought eyes rolling into the back of your head, jaw swinging and the inability to be able to contsruct a lucid and coherent sentence ruined the evening. I tried it once with double doves.... those were strong pills and i only done it once, i thought i would die from the rush and didn't find it as pleasing as my mates had led me to believe, the fuckers. I remember seeing a mate in a straight club with eyes spinning like a fruit machine and jaw shaking like a shitting dog saying "this is the best i've ever been". Yeah? try telling your face mate, because it looks a lot different. Bless them.

16: More tunes