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Friday 7 August 2015

8: More miscellaneous tripe...

Me and Hardcore Massive had now gone our own ways, although he played at our Utopia nights and i played at his Innovation nights, but we were now in competition with each other. This was a competition i wanted no part of, but our mates pretty much had this covered. I was a Camp Hill lad, he was a Hill Top lad, both are rough and ready estates at either end of Nuneaton. When we was kids we used to fight each other but now we all ate E’s regularly, we had chilled out somewhat and all got on. I remember some funny stuff from those days, and i have decided not to name people here, as i said earlier, because i don’t want to upset anyone or get  beaten up. We was at Milwaukees one night and one of the lads was ….well, lets say facially challenged. I still have no idea how anyone can be so ugly with just one face. So, this lad had somehow managed to pull a girl, and she wasn’t horrifically burned like Simon Weston, and neither was she wearing glasses thicker than a Coke bottle, she was a normal, human girl. Everybody was gobsmacked, but happy for him. Nobody dared mention what would happen when the E wore off for her but ho hum, the guy was fast kissing in a booth and having a jolly old time. Till he puked over her. /End
I was stood in the DJ booth at Milwaukees one night, watching DJ Sam doing his thing. I often wondered what happened to him, as his beatmixing was superb, always tight and rarely clanged, or at least as far as i remember. The only thing i thought let him down, was he had no original style or flair, a trademark style you could say. As i was watching him, DJ Rap came in and set her box of records down and gave me a sexy smile. Let’s not get this twisted, she was NOT flirting with me, she just had a sexy smile! (nice boobies too, she was a page 3 stunna before a dj) I had just rolled a spliff so i shared it with her and had a bit of a chat, and she asked me where Scott Prattley was, and i duly went off to fetch him for her. Him and his brother Dave (i think…bit hazy) ran Helter Skelter, and i grabbed him for her before returning to the booth to watch the DJ’s at work. HM was now playing there often, at least once a month and there was always loads of us that went along as well. Milwaukees was a great venue, Very low ceiling and a total sweat box.
I was there one night, grooving away to the beats of the day, when i found a bag of E’s on the floor. My hazy vision cleared just long enough to spot them before i trod on the bag and crushed half of them. Half a bag of crushed pills? no worries! They got collected and shared out between my mates, the rest we saved for a few days later. I wish i could remember what pills they were, but they were pretty good. I daren’t take the first one in case they were fakes, but one of the lads wasted no time or thought on the subject, he just grabbed one and necked it!
HM was doing well now, he was also playing at the big Helter Skelter raves and other  bits here and there, and fair play to him; he was and still is a great dj (under the name Andy Massive now) and deserves the breaks he had. While we are talking about Milwaukees, my mates knew the Prattley brothers (inc. HM) through working on Barkers fun fair when it came to town, so they got free tickets to the raves. BEFORE I START THIS TALE, THIS IS AN ALLEGED EVENT! ok, disclaimer out of the way, my mates were backstage at Helter Skelter, i believe at The Sanctuary but may be wrong. The Prodigy were due to play and Keith Flint was being a bit of a prima donna and was kicking off with one of the brothers saying they were amateur, what kind of shit set up was this etc, etc and generally being egotistical pop stars. The brother in question had had enough of his shit, so threw Keith out by the scruff of his throat and they never played at HS again. I wasn’t there for this but my mates said it was very funny. ALLEGEDLY.
I think that being under the bikers wings helped in some respects, but held me back in others. I played a do in Kidderminster once, i got there and it was a student night, with everyone sat on the floor and a rock/indie band on stage playing music that was nothing like the stuff i was about to play. The band finished their set and i let my first tune drop. I can clearly remember which one it was as well. It was Want you now – D’cruze – and before i had a chance to mix the next record in, i had not only cleared the dance floor but the entire room! The biker who got me the gig argued with the club owner and it all went pear shaped, we left in a hurry and never returned. That was the night i met MC Peta Pan, in another of the bikers clubhouses, although i cannot recall which one, as i had spent a lot of nights out at regional club houses and they all kinda blur into each other now. I think it was Worcester but might be wrong. This was also the night that i watched a biker punch a helmet off his mates head whilst pissed, it split into 2 from a couple of punches. Standard horse play for these guys, till it got a bit  carried away and one of them repeatedly smashed his mates head into a metal gate till he was knocked spark out. Such fun.
D’Cruze……Dance floor killer- literally!
Those clubhouse nights were intense. I remember being held at one in Birmingham for 3 days as the bikers that took me there didn’t want to come home or even let me out to make my own way home. They were a great laugh and very generous with drugs and alcohol, but hard work as well. Some of them are pure hardcore bikers, and didn’t like ravers but i was a bit of a cheeky chappie and charmed most of the ones i met. There are always exceptions though. I was in my local clubhouse when one of them threw a bowie knife at my mate, it sticking in the table in front of him. I saw one do a great wind up one day, he grabbed a beer bottle and opened it with his eye socket. Cue my mate JJJ spending 30 mins trying till he got told it can’t be done, you just make a pffft noise after loosening the cap before hand. His eye was red and swollen from trying, very funny. Another time, me and one of the bikers were in a clubhouse that we had done a rave in a couple of nights before and had gone in to strip the gear and back drops, camo netting etc. He got out a derringer pistol, little thing with 2 barrels, one on top on the other which fired .22 bullets. We spent a hour or so shooting the backdrops having much fun. The gun was used to shoot somebody a few months before and some of the bullets wouldn’t fire. He was grateful it didn’t jam when he shot this guy, and this is all i’m saying on this matter, I was playing with big boys now. These bikers used to do a weekender of their own (I’m not stupid enough to give it a name) and i attended a couple over the years. At one of these festivals i met a lad who was running a gyroscope ride there, that was towed by a proper Romany caravan, very cool thing. The lad was called Harley, and his dad was David, and they were very generous with the Cocaine. David explained that he never was able to afford a real Harley Davidson, so he called his son, Harley, Davids son. They were playing rock music whilst operating the gyroscope and i walked up to a prospect (a probationary biker without full patches) and asked him if we could putsome hardcore on, but noticed he was a prospect and foolishly said “ah, it don’t matter, i’ll ask a fully patched member” he pulled a knife on me and told me to go away or he would be ensure my spinal cord would be severed. Now i need my legs for walking with and thought i better do as i was told. A couple of years later, i DJ’ed there, along with MC Man Parris (MP) and a couple of other dj’s and i saw a club member using one of my records to chop his coke on. FFS, they are my tools so i walked to him and said “do you mind? that’s the tools of my job there, leave my records alone please” mistake again, i got a bowie knife shoved under my nose with the promise of having my septum removed. As much as i fancied Daniella Westbrooke back then, a nose like hers wasn’t something i aspired to having for myself.
A Derringer similar to the one we played with. Looks like a ladies gun, but would you want to be shot by it? Thought not……

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